Calm Down, lady…

The last couple of weeks have been a ride for me, but nothing that I don’t think I can handle. Though stress of certain impacts has made it harder and harder to get decent rest through the night, I was sent a treasure trove of photos of Max by his a-mom 🙂

I was sitting in the parking lot of the hospital (my uncle has been in for the last couple of weeks with a degenerative muscle condition) about to go upstairs and was thinking that I hadn’t long left this place….Max in one car and me in another. Right around the moment I thought I was going to tear up, my phone alarmed and I got an e-mail! I squealed and made a guy sitting two cars over in a convertible jerk in surprise. They had never sent so many photos at once and I was so excited.

He was dressed in a pumpkin outfit, a crazy full on rock star costume complete with hair, and so many other wonderful candid shots. As I’ve noted before, I’ve never seen a newborn smile so much! He looks so unbelievably happy and from the message she sent me, they are both so  happy as well.

It seems just around the time I want to get upset from a void in contact, she comes through. I have to understand that she’s not used to keeping up with a baby…much less one that now is used to being held all the time. I was briefly concerned that Max would never get put down and would become spoiled, but I think he’ll be just right.

So, for once the baby was a piece of news recieved that brought serious joy above a little turmoil happening around me. The days are getting easier, but last night I had a little bit of a breakdown. I bounced back, but I’ve come to terms with the fact that this will happen now and then. That even though I know Max is SO loved, I’m still sad that I wont be an active part of his life and routine.

I’m trying to get a handle on my impatience. I need people around me sometimes to tell me to calm the heck down…that things get better.


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